Wallace Family Therapy Blog by Robin Wallace, LCSW

To Save Your Sanity, Stop Scrolling! Doomscrolling is more harmful than you think

March 7, 2026 by Robin Wallace

This might sound familiar. You pick up your phone and scroll through your social media feeds—just for a minute, just to get the latest news, or to check out the newest skincare line, or to see what some celebrity wore at an awards ceremony. One story leads to the next, and before you know it, hours have passed. Endless scrolling is not only a time suck, but can be harmful to both your mind and your body.

What is doomscrolling?

Doomscrolling was officially added to the Oxford English Dictionary in November 2020 and refers to the habit of obsessively consuming news and content on social media. A Harvard study showed that doomscrolling intensified during the pandemic when everyone was in lockdown. While doomscrolling isn’t new, its negative effects threaten our minds and bodies. According to an American Psychological Association (ASA) study in 2024, 41% of teenagers who spent five or more hours a day doomscrolling reported poor or very poor mental health and faced a higher risk of depression, body image issues, and difficulty sleeping. In response to these studies, the Surgeon General warned users about the links between excessive social media use and negative mental health outcomes. They compared it with the warning labels placed on tobacco products.

What makes doomscrolling so harmful?

Doomscrolling has a built-in biology to it. It’s not just about willpower. Your smartphone is engineered to hook you with fleeting dopamine hits, creating an addictive craving for more. Dopamine is that feel-good chemical neurotransmitter in your brain involved in helping us feel pleasure. Humans have always wanted dopamine. It’s addictive, because it’s pleasurable. Humans typically get dopamine hits three or four times a day when we eat good food, drink when we’re thirsty, or slip into comfortable clothing. When you doomscroll for hours at a time, you experience an estimated 500 dopamine hits a day. It literally hijacks your brain chemistry. The constant flood of unearned dopamine means your brain isn’t able to regenerate your reward center, leading to a dopamine depletion that leaves you craving more.

How doomscrolling affects your body

Reduced attention span. Mindlessly scrolling teaches your brain to seek quick, immediate rewards. It erodes deep thinking. As a result, it becomes harder for you to focus on conversations, homework, and reading retention.
Misinformation risks. Not everything on the internet is real. An AI chatbot is a software application that mimics human behavior. You can be duped into thinking something is real when in fact, chatbots deliver false messages influencing your thoughts and behaviors–even leading to deadly consequences. In November 2025, parents testified before Congress that AI chatbots led to their children’s suicides.
Social isolation. Social media lacks the depth and authenticity of real-world connections, leaving users feeling isolated despite being “hyper-connected.” Many teens who turn to AI chatbots for friendship and emotional support often face inappropriate and harmful interactions.
Other physical symptoms: Doomscrolling often leads to heightened feelings of depression, anxiety, anger, and sadness, which can cause insomnia, headaches, loss of appetite, and increased blood pressure due to the constant, addictive cortisol-driven “fight-or-flight” response.

How doomscrolling affects your brain

Ever wonder why you pay more attention to bad news than good news? It’s because your brain is wired to focus on things it perceives as dangerous. That’s how our ancestors survived. The amygdala is the small, almond-shaped part of your brain that processes fear and other emotions. Every troubling post you read sends your amygdala into overdrive, flooding your body with adrenaline, cortisol, and norepinephrine. A 2021 study in Molecular Psychiatry found that people who doomscroll had significantly decreased gray matter in multiple areas of the brain.

How to break the habit of doomscrolling

Cutting back on excessive screen time can be challenging, but it’s doable. Here are a few tips to can try:

Disable notifications. Breaking news alerts can tempt you to pick up your phone countless times a day. Go to your settings and turn off notifications. This way, you have control over when you look at your phone.
Change where you plug in. At night, instead of having your phone on your nightstand next to you, plug it in on the other side of the room. That way, you can stop scrolling before bed, and you won’t be as tempted to reach for it in the middle of the night.
Delete gaming apps. Mindlessly playing games is a time suck. Take a break. Instead, pick up a book, take up a new hobby, play a board game with your family, have an in-person conversation with a friend.
Set limits. If you feel you need to check your phone throughout the day, give yourself a time limit. Set an alarm, and when that goes off, turn your phone off and put it away, maybe in a drawer where it’s out of sight.
Move your body. Go outside and take a walk in nature. Leave your phone and your earbuds at home. Really be present as you walk. Try to identify things you hear—the neighbor’s dog, the wind in the trees, your own footsteps. Even if the weather isn’t ideal, dress appropriately, get outside, and breathe the fresh air. Not only will that do wonders for your mood, but it also helps you untether yourself from your screen.

Doomscrolling isn’t just a waste of time, it can be harmful to both your mind and your body. This isn’t about completely avoiding screen time, because let’s be real, that’s not going to happen. But if you find you can’t stop or if it makes you feel extremely depressed or upset to avoid excessive screen time, please reach out to us. We understand that some habits are very hard to overcome on your own. At Wallace Family Therapy, we are trained to provide the most effective treatment that meets your individual needs and challenges. We’re here to help you.

Mothers and Daughters Shouldn’t Be Best Friends

January 21, 2026 by Robin Wallace

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels

Anyone who has watched an episode of Gilmore Girls might long for a close mother-daughter relationship like the one Lorelai and Rory have. Phoning each other several times a day, hanging out and enjoying each other’s company, sharing clothes and dating tips might sound fun, but in reality, that type of relationship is fraught with problems and can be harmful for both mother and daughter. A strong mother-daughter relationship is built on trust, love, and mutual respect, but it is not the same as friendship.

First, let’s define what constitutes a healthy friendship. A true friendship is a voluntary relationship between equal parties who trust one another, confide in each other, and have each other’s back. In other words, friends are on the same level.

Family relationships, on the other hand, are inherently hierarchical. Although a healthy mother-daughter relationship embodies trust and open communication, they should never be on the same level. The mother must be above her daughter in the family pecking order. She needs to provide her daughter with guidance and security while setting rules and boundaries. The daughter, in turn, learns valuable life lessons and develops skills that will allow her to successfully navigate the world on her own. Blurring these lines crosses several unhealthy boundaries.

Why being your daughter’s best friend is not a good idea.

Traditional hierarchy matters. That’s the hidden strength in a family structure. It might sound old-fashioned, but a mother must rank higher than her daughter. When a mother and daughter are “best friends,” that important hierarchy crumbles. The result is a confused relationship that denies the daughter the rules, structure, and security she needs.
Unhealthy competition. Thanks to healthier gym habits and cosmetic enhancements, many mothers look strikingly close to their daughter’s age. At a time when there is so much societal pressure to stay young, it’s tempting for a mother to want to act younger than her chronological age, which can muddle the mother-daughter roles.
Missing element. Feeling youthful is not a bad thing, but a mother’s friendship with her daughter could be a substitute for something that’s missing in her own life. Is she consciously or unconsciously living vicariously through her daughter? Does she feel the need to relive her glory days? “Helicopter moms” especially might feel lost without their daughter’s company. Once children grow and leave the nest, some mothers have a hard time with the fact that their child no longer “needs” them to survive. Having a daughter that involves them in their lives may make them feel wanted.
Daughters need guidance from their mothers. With the prevalence of social media pressures, body dysmorphia, bullying, and pressure to take drugs and have sex at an increasingly earlier age, it’s imperative for a mother to have the strength and courage to be moms. Being a mom is not for the faint of heart. More than ever, daughters need maternal guidance just to get through the day. They don’t need a bestie. They need a mom they can count on. There’s something to be said for having lived a number of years. You have significant knowledge that can only have been gained by life experiences.

Why a healthy mother-daughter relationship matters

Healthy relationships between mothers and daughters strike a balance. They are loving, respectful, and supportive, yet still maintain clear role boundaries. By not being afraid to be moms, they can be that all-important rock for their daughters. These are tough times. Daughters need to know they have a mother they can trust who will listen to them, provide a safe environment, and offer guidance as they mature. This type of mother-daughter relationship respects the necessary hierarchy while teaching the daughter to learn to set boundaries for themselves, respect authority, and develop confidence in their independence.

What to do if you realize your daughter is your best friend?

Again, it’s okay to have a close relationship with your daughter, but you must maintain a separation. Ask yourself, are you using this relationship to avoid responsibility? Is a best friend relationship with your daughter keeping you from living your own life? Does the relationship with your daughter hinder your personal growth or hers? Taking an honest look at the relationship you have with your daughter will allow you to make changes that benefit you both.

I am strong because a strong woman raised me.

— Jocelyn Kelly

This Holiday Season, Do What’s Best For You

December 4, 2025 by Robin Wallace

Photo by Вячеслав Немченко on Pexels

This time of year, you’ll read plenty of posts with tips for people with eating disorders on how to best navigate the holidays. While these suggestions may be helpful, not everyone is in the same place. For that reason, I’d like to propose a different approach for some of you this holiday season.

There are those of you reading this who might be in the throes of deep depression or struggling with a severe eating disorder. Having an eating disorder is traumatic at this time of the year. Trying to navigate food, family functions, and holiday parties may be overwhelming. You might simply be trying to manage from one day to the next. For that reason, it’s okay to take time off this holiday season and do what’s best for you and your well-being.

You might dread the questions and comments you imagine you’ll get from your family and friends by choosing to take a step back and focusing on your health. Don’t worry about what others may say. It’s easier said than done, I know. The truth is, you don’t have any control over things outside of yourself. Just as you have no control over the weather, you don’t have any control over what others say, or think, or do. What you DO have control over is how you react.

By taking a step back, I’m not encouraging you to isolate yourself from people. What I am suggesting is that you take time to do what is best for you, whatever that may be, without any guilt. Manage your calendar, and don’t over-schedule your activities. Figure out what’s most important to you. That might be spending time with loved ones or it might mean taking time away to manage your emotions. Take a walk in nature with a friend. Listen to your favorite music. Spend time with your pet. Take up a creative hobby like photography or painting. Whatever it is, do something that makes you feel good.

I want to remind you that you will have setbacks. That’s normal. It’s kind of like riding a bike for the first time. You’re up and peddling along, then suddenly you lose your balance and crash to the ground. But you get back up. Healing is not linear. You are going to have ups and downs, progress forward and slip-ups back. It happens to everyone. Do you think Simone Biles got all those gold medals by performing her routines perfectly from the start? No way! She fell, plenty of times. And she learned valuable lessons through those failures. Even in her prime after she obtained the status of GOAT (Greatest Of All Time), she made the decision to step back from competing in the 2021 Tokyo Olympics to focus on her mental health. Was that an inconvenient time to experience the “twisties?” You bet it was! But she made the choice to focus on her health, regardless of what anyone said. You can do the same thing!

I’d like to give you a mental image that might help you whenever you feel a trigger coming on. Picture yourself walking on a path through a lush forest. You’re feeling good about yourself, maybe for the first time in a while. Suddenly out of the corner of your eye, you see a porcupine with long, sharp quills walking beside you in the forest. That porcupine represents your triggers, and they will be unique to you, whether it’s fear or anxiety or depression. The porcupine angles closer to your path, and you feel your heart race and sweat prickles your skin. I want you to do something. When you see the porcupine turn toward your path, I want you to stop walking and stand still. Take deep cleansing breaths and let the porcupine cross your path, enter the other side of the forest, and walk away. That is your power. You can control how you react. Try to remember this image whenever you feel a trigger coming on. Nobody wants to hug the porcupine. As soon as you see him, stop walking and let him pass. And he will.

Give yourself permission to do what you think is best for you this holiday season. Looking out for your best interest is not selfish. Before you know it, March will be here. Daylight Saving Time begins again March 8th. The longer days and added hours of sunshine will make you feel that anything is possible. The holidays can be stressful, but they don’t have to be. Putting your own mental and physical health above all else is both smart and brave. If you’re still feeling overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, or depressed during the holidays, please reach out to us. At Wallace Family Therapy, we are trained to provide the most effective treatment that meets your individual needs and challenges. We’re here to help you.

Adjusting to Your New Normal With Menopause

September 26, 2025 by Robin Wallace

Photo by Beatriz Fernandes on Pexels

Menopause is one of the many natural changes you’ll experience in your lifetime. You may welcome the fact that you no longer have to worry about your period, but the hormonal shifts that come with menopause may cause uncomfortable symptoms that interfere with your daily life. By recognizing the symptoms and making simple life changes, you can find yourself happier, healthier, and more fulfilled in this new chapter of your life.

What exactly is menopause?

Let’s back up. Premenopause, which literally means “before menopause,” refers to the fertile years between a girl’s first period and the onset of perimenopause when periods are still regular or only slightly irregular. The time leading up to menopause is called perimenopause, which means ”around menopause.” This transition can begin in your 30s and 40s when estrogen levels start to fluctuate. It can last from two to 10 years before menopause. It’s characterized by changes to the menstrual cycle, as well as other physical and mental symptoms, which are subtle at first. Of course, everyone’s experience is unique, but some of the symptoms of perimenopause are:

Aches and pains. Many people going into menopause experience new, seemingly random joint or muscle pain during perimenopause.
Brain fog. Feeling forgetful during perimenopause is common. Again, your shifting hormones may cause short-term memory problems or trouble concentrating.
Higher cholesterol. Lower estrogen levels affect your cholesterol, which can increase your risk for stroke and heart disease.
Changes in your body. You might notice your hair is thinner, your skin is drier, and your muscles are weaker.
Hot flashes. Many women start having hot flashes that suddenly spread across your face and neck. These may continue for a few seconds or last several minutes.
Irregular periods. You may stop ovulating every month. Your periods could become shorter or longer, lighter or heavier.
Lower libido. You might feel less interested in sex, and arousal may take longer.
Mood swings. Your hormonal shifts can cause you to feel depressed, irritable, or moody.
Problems sleeping. You might wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. Afterwards, you might have a hard time getting back to sleep.
Vaginal dryness. The decreased estrogen levels can cause the lining in your vaginal to thin and become drier. Sex might become painful.

Keep in mind, you can still get pregnant during perimenopause, even though you might ovulate irregularly. Continue to use birth control until one full year after your last period. Birth control can even help lessen the symptoms of perimenopause.

Menopause is when you naturally stop having your period. While it’s not something that happens all at once, you officially reach menopause after 12 months in a row without having your period. This happens because your ovaries no longer produce estrogen, the hormone that runs your menstrual cycle, and a decrease of ovarian reserve, which is the capacity to produce healthy eggs. Estrogen keeps your bones strong, your heart healthy, and your mind sharp. Without it, your risk of developing chronic health conditions like heart disease and osteoporosis increases. The average age for menopause is 51 in most of the Western world, but keep in mind, everyone is different.

The start of your menopause is hereditary

A large 2021 study published in Nature, found that genetic factors strongly influence the age at which a woman starts menopause. Researchers analyzed data from hundreds of thousands of women, primarily of European and East Asian ancestry, from large datasets such as the UK Biobank and 23andMe and found that two genes in particular may contribute to a woman’s reproductive lifespan.

Your mother’s age when she started menopause can give you an idea of when you will likely start menopause. While your genes are considered a strong indicator of when you may enter menopause, certain lifestyle choices like smoking and an unhealthy diet can affect the start of menopause. Environmental factors such as certain cancer treatments can also impact the timing of menopause. The symptoms of menopause are similar to those experienced in perimenopause, but also can include bone loss and urinary tract infections.

Postmenopause is the stage after menopause and continues the rest of your life. While most menopause symptoms ease up in postmenopause, you can continue to experience mild symptoms for several years in postmenopause, and you are still at an increased risk for osteoporosis and heart disease.

Some think gaining weight is caused by menopause. While it is common for people to gain weight starting in perimenopause, the cause has more to do with losing muscle mass. The decrease in estrogen and progesterone, coupled with natural aging, triggers metabolic changes in the body. This includes a decrease in muscle mass resulting in fewer calories burned. When that happens, fat can accumulate. Lack of sleep and a sedentary lifestyle can also play a role in weight gain.

What can you do?

You can’t stop menopause, but there’s no need to suffer from the symptoms. Here are a few things you can do that can make this transition a little easier.

Ask your doctor about hormone therapy. It is one of the most effective treatments for menopause symptoms.
Eat a healthy diet. Make sure to include plenty of fruits and vegetables, complex carbohydrates, healthy fats, and lean protein, which is essential for maintaining muscle mass.
Make physical exercise a part of your regular routine. Strength training can not only help keep your bones healthy and strong, but it can also increase muscle mass which will help you maintain a healthy weight. Also, physical activity can help you get a better night’s sleep.
Like fine wine, sex can get better with age. As discussed, your vaginal walls may become thinner and drier due to the lack of estrogen. This is called vaginal atrophy. Over-the-counter lubricants can help reduce vaginal dryness and discomfort. Hormone therapy can help as well. You and your doctor can decide what’s right for you. If penetrative sex is uncomfortable, communicate with your partner. Consider other forms of intimacy, such as oral sex, masturbation, or vibrators. Do what’s comfortable for you, but just know, you don’t have to give up sex after menopause.
Don’t ignore your pelvic floor. Your pelvic floor muscles help stabilize your core while assisting with essential bodily functions like pooping, peeing, and having sex. Along with other key muscle groups in your core, your pelvic floor muscles allow your body to absorb outside pressure from such things as lifting and coughing in a way that protects your spine and your organs. These muscles can weaken over time. Kegels exercises are commonly used to strengthen pelvic floor muscles. Kegels involve routinely squeezing and relaxing your pelvic muscles to slowly build control.

You’re never going to be twenty again, and that’s a good thing. Instead of dreading this new phase of your life, embrace it. You’ve worked hard to get where you are now. Like many postmenopausal women, you might feel more confident and enjoy newfound freedoms in this new chapter of your life.

If you are experiencing symptoms related to menopause and you have questions on what to expect, please reach out to us. At Wallace Family Therapy, we are highly trained to provide the most effective treatment that meets your specific needs and challenges. We’re here to help you.

Shining a Light On Eating Disorders In Midlife and Beyond

July 30, 2025 by Robin Wallace

This is a big, relevant topic right now that’s not getting the attention it deserves. The focus on eating disorders has been on young people, but many middle-aged people and baby boomers have long suffered in silence without recognition or help.

Those who have sought therapy tend to cycle in and out of care and may not respond to treatment at all. The sad fact is, people are dying. It’s time to shed light on the many reasons why eating disorders in midlife and beyond have been overlooked.

There’s a gap in research and understanding

There is a significant disparity in the research and understanding of eating disorders in older people. It doesn’t help that there is a stereotype that eating disorders only affect young, White, affluent girls. This may increase the chance that someone going to a doctor for their eating disorder may be dismissed or misdiagnosed. I certainly don’t mean to disrespect any healthcare professional, but eating disorder research, resources, and tailored treatments for those in midlife still remain limited.

Websites aren’t helpful as most are focused on younger patients. Many middle-aged people seeking help find it uncomfortable to go to a treatment center where most of the patients are younger than 35. They may feel out of place participating in group sessions geared specifically for teens and young adults.

Risk factors for eating disorders in midlife

First, it’s important to understand who may be at risk. There are three common patterns in people who have eating disorders in midlife and beyond:

People who may have had an eating disorder when they were younger and may not have fully recovered. Their illness resurfaces as a result of stress or a major life change.
People who have had long-term eating disorders and have suffered with the illness their whole lives. It’s not uncommon for those who grew up in the diet culture to have eating disorders since their childhood and have managed to survive. Diet culture refers to the unrealistic hyperfocus around food and weight, which typically boils down to the idea that being thin is healthy, food must be categorized as either good or bad, and that weight loss is a sign of discipline, self-control, and moral superiority.
People who develop eating disorders for the first time later in life.

The effects of eating disorders are serious and long-lasting

It’s important to understand that eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of all mental illnesses, with the exception of the recent surge in overdose deaths from opiates.

Even with treatment, there is no guarantee that someone will fully recover. After all, our physical and mental well-being rely on proper nutrition. The long-term effects of eating disorders in middle-aged people include arthritis, osteoporosis, dental issues, heart disease, and brain damage.

No one expects people in midlife and beyond to have an eating disorder, but the fact is, middle age is a time when women especially are vulnerable. One study found that 1 in 5 women have experienced an eating disorder by the age of 40 with nearly 3 out of 4 women in midlife saying they aren’t happy with their bodies. A 2012 study in the International Journal of Eating Disorders estimates that 13% of U.S. women aged 50 and over have eating disorder syndrome, which is slightly higher than the 12.4% diagnosed with breast cancer. There are several factors that may trigger eating disorders in midlife:

Hormonal shifts. Menopause causes changes in appetite and mood. Estrogen levels start to decline, which cause the metabolism to slow resulting in weight gain. A recent study found that 82% of women in menopause reported that they often engage in disordered eating, such as skipping meals or overexercising to compensate for the changes in their bodies.
Divorce. Returning to the world of dating can be scary. Society reinforces the notion that in order to be beautiful and successful, women must rail thin. In order to achieve a younger, thinner, and more desirable body, many women turn to extreme dieting and exercise.
Death of a partner. This could have a profound effect on adult women, especially if the death was sudden and unexpected. For women predisposed, the grief, shock, and sadness could trigger an eating disorder as a means of coping and escaping responsibilities.
Youth-obsessed society. This isn’t new. Throughout history, female beauty has been defined by a youthful appearance, a good body, and perfect skin. The media and cosmetics industry bombard older women with ads focused on products that claim to make them look and feel younger. Unrealistic expectations can lead to insecurity, triggering eating disorders.

Interestingly, health professionals have noticed that many of the parents of their adolescent patients—particularly the moms—were themselves on extreme diets, regularly participated in punishing exercise regimes, and abused laxatives—even as their child was undergoing treatment for eating disorders.

There is hope

Over the past decade, clinics around the world have seen an increase in women and men seeking treatment for eating disorders in midlife and beyond. Many women who have witnessed their child get help for their eating disorders, have sought treatment for themselves. This new awareness has allowed them to see their own illness and feel comfortable talking about it. Organizations like the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) and the National Alliance for Eating Disorders are raising awareness about eating disorders not only in young people, but across peoples’ entire lifespans. More and more, organizations are offering remote therapy sessions and tailoring their treatment programs to older adults.

For far too long, eating disorders in midlife and beyond have been ignored or misunderstood. It’s time to bring this important illness into the light. If you think you may have an eating disorder or you want to ask questions about symptoms and treatment options, please reach out to us. At Wallace Family Therapy, we are highly trained to provide the most effective treatment that meets your specific needs and challenges. We’re here to help you.