Photo by Вячеслав Немченко on Pexels
This time of year, you’ll read plenty of posts with tips for people with eating disorders on how to best navigate the holidays. While these suggestions may be helpful, not everyone is in the same place. For that reason, I’d like to propose a different approach for some of you this holiday season.
There are those of you reading this who might be in the throes of deep depression or struggling with a severe eating disorder. Having an eating disorder is traumatic at this time of the year. Trying to navigate food, family functions, and holiday parties may be overwhelming. You might simply be trying to manage from one day to the next. For that reason, it’s okay to take time off this holiday season and do what’s best for you and your well-being.
You might dread the questions and comments you imagine you’ll get from your family and friends by choosing to take a step back and focusing on your health. Don’t worry about what others may say. It’s easier said than done, I know. The truth is, you don’t have any control over things outside of yourself. Just as you have no control over the weather, you don’t have any control over what others say, or think, or do. What you DO have control over is how you react.
By taking a step back, I’m not encouraging you to isolate yourself from people. What I am suggesting is that you take time to do what is best for you, whatever that may be, without any guilt. Manage your calendar, and don’t over-schedule your activities. Figure out what’s most important to you. That might be spending time with loved ones or it might mean taking time away to manage your emotions. Take a walk in nature with a friend. Listen to your favorite music. Spend time with your pet. Take up a creative hobby like photography or painting. Whatever it is, do something that makes you feel good.
I want to remind you that you will have setbacks. That’s normal. It’s kind of like riding a bike for the first time. You’re up and peddling along, then suddenly you lose your balance and crash to the ground. But you get back up. Healing is not linear. You are going to have ups and downs, progress forward and slip-ups back. It happens to everyone. Do you think Simone Biles got all those gold medals by performing her routines perfectly from the start? No way! She fell, plenty of times. And she learned valuable lessons through those failures. Even in her prime after she obtained the status of GOAT (Greatest Of All Time), she made the decision to step back from competing in the 2021 Tokyo Olympics to focus on her mental health. Was that an inconvenient time to experience the “twisties?” You bet it was! But she made the choice to focus on her health, regardless of what anyone said. You can do the same thing!
I’d like to give you a mental image that might help you whenever you feel a trigger coming on. Picture yourself walking on a path through a lush forest. You’re feeling good about yourself, maybe for the first time in a while. Suddenly out of the corner of your eye, you see a porcupine with long, sharp quills walking beside you in the forest. That porcupine represents your triggers, and they will be unique to you, whether it’s fear or anxiety or depression. The porcupine angles closer to your path, and you feel your heart race and sweat prickles your skin. I want you to do something. When you see the porcupine turn toward your path, I want you to stop walking and stand still. Take deep cleansing breaths and let the porcupine cross your path, enter the other side of the forest, and walk away. That is your power. You can control how you react. Try to remember this image whenever you feel a trigger coming on. Nobody wants to hug the porcupine. As soon as you see him, stop walking and let him pass. And he will.
Give yourself permission to do what you think is best for you this holiday season. Looking out for your best interest is not selfish. Before you know it, March will be here. Daylight Saving Time begins again March 8th. The longer days and added hours of sunshine will make you feel that anything is possible. The holidays can be stressful, but they don’t have to be. Putting your own mental and physical health above all else is both smart and brave. If you’re still feeling overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, or depressed during the holidays, please reach out to us. At Wallace Family Therapy, we are trained to provide the most effective treatment that meets your individual needs and challenges. We’re here to help you.
